To be loved is to know love and to be love is to have love, many of us do not get to experience the love we see on television or what is sometimes seen on social media. The relationships dripping in all that love embodies from clear communication to aid with healing, most have to come to love and learned to love due to past experience that showed a different picture. I came from a household where this word was used sparingly, never in a moment of true bliss but as a reminder that we must love you for all that we've done and provided, how could we not? So naturally my relationship with my parents wasn't always the greatest, being consistently reminded of my short comings, never truly having an ear to help in my healing so I had to find comfort elsewhere.Writing poetry and stories was my gateway to a reality that I could only imagine and work towards as great older, so for those of you who can relate, trust me you will get through it and you will learn and know love of self with the help of your heart and plenty of amazing people around you. Below is a poem I wrote not too long ago about a situation that was not my own but connected with my life in many ways.
She said,
It hurts knowing that the one that was suppose to protect me
has turned into my worst enemy.
Heartbeats once shared , we lived in unison, as I fed off the nutrients that you provided
thinking that one day you'd feed me with the same knowledge I needed to become a better woman. Instead I'm being spoon fed words of discouragement and disappointment
as if I had you to guide me through my darkest times.
Where the fck were you when I needed you the most!
Too busy in the lives of others to even pay attention to the one that seemed to be slipping away.
You thought it was easy, lost at a young age seeking guidance and only met with shut doors lacking understanding.
I never wanted this for us.
Warnings of how my actions would lead me astray, but who could I go to if it couldn't be you,
in the end it was you I couldn't trust.
I'll be more than the thoughts in your head of me,
cause I know all that I've endured to get to where I am.
So respectfully leave my name out your mouth if it's coming with ill intentions,
I'm sorry momma, but this the end.
I hope this reaches who it must and helps them to heal from the brokenness that wants to steal every piece of joy you harbor in your heart. Sending you continuous love, light and blessing.
K
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